How to Change your Bedtime Routine from a Pit Stop at the Raceway to a Drive along the Coast

I am morning person! 100% awake and ready to go each morning (which may sometimes be 100% annoying to my family). I view it as a new chance to take on whatever I didn’t finish or accomplish the day before with renewed energy and perspective.

When my kids were little I loved the morning. They had a good nights sleep and were happy and ready to play. I would volunteer to wake up with them any day. Especially if that meant I didn’t have to do the bedtime routine.

The bedtime routine was a struggle for me. In part I think because the day had been long and it was hard for me to maintain patience after the 5th request for water or the need for another blanket or stuffed animal or book. It was a job that I would push off most nights. Until…I discovered a secret.

You see, bedtime is one of those moments where you have your child’s undivided attention. It is a moment that can be used to build a stronger relationship with them and help them begin to build a relationship with Jesus.

The first step is to ditch your own agenda. For me, the reason bedtime was so tough for me was because my agenda was quite honestly to get them to bed as quick as I could so that I could relax in peace and quiet. So when there was a consistent request for more water, sleepy time friends, or one more kiss, it definitely messed up my agenda. So I changed my perspective and agenda to see the opportunity to spend valuable time with them rather than rushing out as fast as I could.

The next step is to figure out what works for you. Some of this might be based on the age of your children, whether you put them to bed at the same time, or any other number of factors. For me, I needed to figure out how I wanted to spend that time to make it meaningful to us. I will be honest. My original process was to rush them into their pjs, get their teeth brushed, tuck them in, say a brief prayer and then give them a kiss good night. It was like I was a one woman pit crew during a car race trying to get out as quick as possible. Of course it didn’t go well.

So I prayed about that time. I decided I wanted that time to be something that would help them close out their day. So we talked about a couple of things.

First we talked about something that was special for them that day. For the younger ones, I would help them remember something special that happened. For the older ones, they enjoyed thinking of something that they could report on. We would dig into what made their example special.

Next we talked about something they were grateful for that day. This was sometimes a more difficult task for them. I wanted for them to come up with something different than what was special about their day. Or if not different, what they were specifically grateful for.

Finally we talked about something they wanted to pray about for the next day. I tried to encourage them to think about prayer in different ways. Sometimes we would think about people we might pray for, or for a situation that was coming up or even for themselves and the way they approached things. This was my favorite part because it allowed me to model prayer in a way that wasn’t the same each night and was purposeful for what was on their hearts and minds.

Giving them and myself that time at the end of the day made all the difference. It helped them reflect on their day, helped me learn a little more about what was on their minds and most importantly it allowed us time to pray together about what was on their hearts. And you know what, it really only took about 20 minutes. I’m not going to tell you that they never asked for another cup of water or a second sleepy time friend, but my expectation did change. I still smile at my memories those sweet eyes looking up at me under the blanket talking about their day and praying with me about what was on their hearts. Turns out that time was way more valuable than the peace and quiet I was rushing towards for all of us!

If your bedtime routine feels like you are a pit crew leader and you try some of these ideas, please reach out and let me know! I would love to hear how it goes.

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Also be on the look out for my next blog where I will be focusing on the decisions we make as parents.