Talking to your Children can Make a Huge Difference…and Boy, Do Those Kiddos Have a Lot to Say!

It is truly that simple, but depending on the age of your child, you might not be feeling like it is that simple. I mean let’s face it, when they aren’t yet sleeping through the night and they are crying, talking to them seems pointless. When they start to babble, it could feel a little more like a conversation, but it quickly might start to feel a bit silly. Even as they start to have more language, the conversations don’t always seem well particularly deep. Truly until they start to respond to our talking in a true conversation/back and forth style, honestly, it might feel like you are just talking to yourself. Yet, research done by Stanford shows that not just how much you talk to your child but the way you talk to your child can make a BIG impact-on the number of words they know, how they process language, and their understanding of human interactions. Below are a few simple ideas to get you started.

First, face them when possible. This includes being at their level and making eye contact. This lets them know that you are listening and interested in what they are saying.

One way this looked for us as a busy family was through conversations while at the grocery store. I would let them hold the list and they would help me “find” the food we needed to get. I would ask them questions about what they liked and why they liked it and even which one we should pick. We talked about colors and textures. It truly helped make that weekly task more enjoyable.

Second, try to pause and wait after you ask or say something. Give them a bit to respond to what you are saying. This is especially helpful when they are first learning language.

One time where this was important for us was during car ride stories. With four children of different ages adding to the story, waiting and listening made a big difference. One particular story that I remember is one about a game they would play with their cousin. During the in between times of seeing her they would make up more to the story so they could continue the game when she came again. We would talk about the castle and what it looked like and what they did there. There were horses that were fast and you could ride on them almost anywhere. I think one of them may have been a unicorn. There was a knight (Christopher), a princess (Becca), a pet dragon (Jenna) and a baby (Katie). Whether they gave small details, a lot of details, or the same details didn’t matter. They were all a part of the story.

Third, talk about things that they are interested in (even if you feel like all you ever talk about is dinosaurs). For us, particularly at meal time, our conversations were often around the same topics. For Christopher this was often bringing his game or tv show characters to life. One character was Crash Bandicoot. I learned how he could spin, spin and jump, and sometimes he would even give a demonstration. Becca loved talking about horses. She would tell me about the current book she was reading about them and what they were doing. Jenna and Katie often talked about having a pet jaguar and kangaroo. They would talk about how to take care of them and what they liked to eat.

Most importantly, talk any time and all the time! Mealtime. Drivetime. Playtime. Bathtime. Errand time. Outside time. Bedtime. Anytime.

When my kids were little I didn’t know this research, but talking with them came naturally. Honestly, I think in part that was because the house (and the car) was so quiet otherwise. When they were babies I would talk to them through every routine. I would talk about what I was doing or where we were going. Honestly what I said didn’t matter, they were just hearing my voice. As they got older, we engaged in more of the conversation that I described above.

While the ideas I shared here seem simple, the fact is, your life as a parent is not always that simple. It can be complicated and unpredictable, fast paced and a bit crazy. I would love to pray for you and for your time with your children.

Dear God, thank you for research that has been done around how important the gift of words to our children are. Thank you that you have built our children’s minds to need us and need our words and interaction. It’s amazing to think that they don’t need toys or electronics just us. God, we just ask that you might help us to find times throughout the day, in our every day moments to talk with our kiddos. God you know sometimes I am tired or just not in the mood. Please give me what I need in those brief moments to make them ones that will make a lasting impact on them. I love you. Amen.

If you would like more ideas for your baby or have a question about development and what to expect, I would be honored to support you with information. Please reach out to me and let me know.

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Also be on the lookout for my next blog which will focus on how time looks different now that they are older and how I treasure that time differently.